Let’s Talk about your Positives

I would say by now, we pretty much know our negatives, weakness or things we are actively working on, but how often do we find time to acknowledge what we are doing well? We will never be perfect, and yes, we can continually work on being better, but we must have in mind or a hard-copy of all the information that allows us to celebrate ourselves right now. This is regarding any stage we are at! 

PERSONALITY TRAITS: 

This is purely regarding what makes the brilliant, amazing and fascinating you. Not how others view you nor how you think you should be, just simply all the things that add up to make you, YOU!  

PROFESSIONAL TRAITS  

Whether you are an entrepreneur, you work in an office, you’re a stay at home mum or are hands-on; here is where you write what traits you have that help you to do your role well. This can be skills, personality and any type of strength. If you are currently transitioning to another role, this must still be done as the skills are still there! 

ACHIEVEMENTS 

Achievements come in many shapes and forms, meaning it is not strictly winning multiple awards, it can be regarding relationships or situations you’ve achieved peace with, it can be finishing college/university paper or course, or it can be raising your children when you never thought you could. Anything that you intended to do in any area of your life, took the step and achieved it – must be written in this column. 

INTERESTS 

By writing what you enjoy doing with your time shows your character and what you are also gifted in. When work, studies or life in general, get on top of you or you have time on your hands, you can then relate to the list to do something you generally enjoy. 

IMPROVEMENTS 

While there is much we can improve on, use this space to acknowledge yourself for what you are working on and actively improving in. This is a space not purely for the huge jumps but for the small steps that slowly bring you forward to the big ones. 

EXAMPLE 

List of assets Personality traits  Professional traits Achievements  Interests Improvements 
1 Bubbly Adaptable Passed my driving test  Dancing Socialized with new people  
2 Sociable Reflective Stopped Smoking Fitness Restrained from arguing back  
3 Trustworthy Proactive Started my own business Drawing Spoke to someone influential about my new ideas and was given ideas
4 Funny Creative  Finished University Travelling Performed a song/poem/piece even though I was petrified! 
5 Inquisitive Organized  Held an event Cooking/Baking Improved my time-keeping skills by: 

Here lies space for you to brazenly and confidently talk of any new habits, achievements, decisions or improvements you have or are currently making. Too often we know what we need to improve, but at times we need to look at how far we have come. The time frame is insignificant, if you’ve worked on it or improved, it needs to be logged!

List of assets Personality traits  Interests Achievements  Professional traits Improvements 
1     
2     
3     
4     
5     
6     
7     
8     
9     
10     

Though this is online, write this in a notepad or keep on your notes on your phone. It is immensely important to view this every single day, so you can constantly keep your positives and efforts highlighted. The aim is to overpower the “I have so many flaws” with the “I’m doing my best and becoming better every day”. 

IMPORTANT: If someone can’t see it, it isn’t for you to second guess yourself; one of the best ways to deal with this is to allow the person to have their opinion of you while knowing that it does not reflect the true image or likeness of you. Opinions of you from others will always verify but they don’t reflect your worth as a person. You can be a breath of fresh air to those that feel pressure to conform. 

BIG YOURSELF UP, you were uniquely created and the language you use yourself needs to celebrate you!   

Dover’s Lesson

My solo hike to Dover’s White Cliffs taught me a life lesson…how important it is to separate yourself from the path you’ve been taught to follow, and step out to find your direction which can lead to on a more satisfying journey!

I was excited to travel back to Dover’s White Cliffs, especially as it was my first time hiking solo, but I was a bit nervous even though I was pretty sure I would have remembered everything. From the start, I tried to recall each step the previous instructor showed us in getting to the start of the hike, and when inside, I was ready! Going up Dover’s White Cliffs, I took a couple of wrong turns, but instead of seeing the beauty in it, I kept berating myself and getting annoyed until I made it back to where I was previously told I should be. I managed to follow it to a tee until a route closure made it impossible to go through, so I went another way which showed immense countryside beauty which I loved!

As I made my way back, I saw there were many different ways I could go through, but my problem was, I wasn’t sure if there would lead me back correctly. I was tempted just to go back the way I knew how, but the adventurous side of me wanted to go for it. And, so I did, and how I made the best decision by doing so! My new journey back had me taking climbing down many steep hills, climbing up many hills with my hands and sliding in inappropriate trainers for it, taking many detours as some places led to nowhere!

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However, it was absolutely amazing and so much more fun than taking the way I already knew that was less adventurous. Because that’s exactly what I am, I like adventure, I love challenges and I’m very inquisitive! It was more me, and it even lead to a prize – discovering the directions down to the beach by accident, something I would have never know had I took the standard way!

 

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Towards the end, it had me walking down a wide path I had never previously seen before but assumed that was the way out. That wide path became an extremely narrow path that I was no longer comfortable with – for the simple fact that It was off a cliff, and the slightest slip meant I would be falling 150ft down to traffic – not want I wanted at all to be fair (I had also realised that’s why there wasn’t many people on this route back either). I wanted to turn back but I had come so far, I convinced myself to keep going. I had done it and came out alive and victorious haha.

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The life lesson that that experience had taught me was:

You can always take the easier and mundane task of going in a direction that was taught to you, however, stepping out of the norm and going into the unknown could carry a direction that is more personalized to you leading better satisfaction. Following a pre-set path may be safe, but there’s more for you in your own self-discovery. At the beginning, it could be scary, rough and overwhelming, but as you keep going, you’ll experience some wins, you’ll learn lessons for the next time and you’ll become stronger in the process! You’ll be in the place that you were truly meant to be.

I knew I would experience beauty upon going to Dover, but this lesson is the most valuable part of it all!

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Rejection

You’re not the type of woman he usually goes for;

He has a specific type.

He doesn’t see the beauty in your uniqueness,

He doesn’t feel the spark of your presence,

So, this would be the exact time to walk away.

However, we tend to begrudge ourselves;

 

We think:

What can I do to become the person he desires?

Change my image?

Change how I dress?

Be into what he’s into?

You completely disregard “YOU” as an individual,

And attempt to become the person HE finds desirable.

You find yourself saying and doing things that aren’t naturally you, just to keep his attention.

Your morals and uniqueness have been pushed to the side.

You barely recognise yourself.

 

The truth is:

If he can’t accept the beauty that surrounds you,

It isn’t for YOU to change;

It isn’t for YOU to adjust to make him comfortable and satisfied.

Your individuality will not always be appreciated,

Your beauty may not always be grasped,

And the following will have absolutely nothing to do with you.

 

When you begin to conceal your true self and change into someone that isn’t organically you,

You block the stream of exclusiveness that you attain.

Deep down, we know that “Boy” is not worth us destroying our individuality.

Especially, when knowing that there is someone who is looking for all the qualities you already obtain.

You must never devalue something as powerful and exquisite as yourself,

 

What you possess is immeasurable.

 

Nadine Thomas Spoken Word 2015 (C)

 

New Routines & Healthy Habits

While we are in a place of restriction, this could be the perfect opportunity to make a morning and evening routine for a more relaxed start and an end to our day. If you know me quite well, you would that I’m up at the crack of dawn to complete my morning routine, or at night, you won’t have a lot of luck getting through to me after 10 pm.  Funny enough, I developed these habits while I wasn’t working so I didn’t actually need to wake up early. However, after watching a video Hal Elrod – “The Miracle Morning” and not being in a great place, I decided to buy the Miracle Morning Book and challenge myself to commit to it.

Being a person who previously went to bed between 1 am and 2 am, not knowing how much sleep I even needed – so I either waking up too early or late and feeling sluggish – the new routine was extremely difficult at first. Falling asleep earlier was almost impossible and I hit snooze more times than you can imagine, however, I just kept start from square one the next day.  Before I even realised what had happened, it became a natural habit. After figuring out how much sleep my body needed (there’s not set time, it’s different for everyone) I was able to do my routines even though, the reminding of the day was not spent doing a lot, but I felt motivated. When I started working again, I just kept doing what I was originally doing. What it did then and has up to now, brought me great happiness, rest, relaxation and optimism for my days ahead. It completely changed my life for the better!

There will always be days when I have to have a late night or a morning that I cannot practice this for an hour, but I hold no guilt and just try to take 15 mins to do a mini version or even 5 minutes to breathe deeply and give gratitude. Life always gets in the way but it’s okay, it’s always okay to start again.

Whether you suffer from insomnia, you want to have time for only you or you just wnat to be a bit tech-free before you finish or start your day, below are a few tips taken my evening and morning routines. These may or may not work for you – we are far too complex and different for a fix-all routine. Best way to find out is to test it out and see what works for you.

 

Evening Routine 

 

  • 1 hour before I go to sleep, I leave my phone outside my room or in another room. This takes the temptation away from checking my phone in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning (without reason).
  • Scented candles or infusers with essential oils set the mood for relaxation and switching off. Lavender and Geranium are great relaxers I currently use. You can also use these essential oils in your bath or in a bottle mixed with water for a mist spray (Do look into this a little more if you would like to try it).
  • Make a playlist of relaxing songs. I tend to listen to instrumental, classical or jazz, it chills me out completely. I tend to stay away from  songs that will have me thinking! Taking all into account, it has to be what I enjoy listening to that chills me; the goal is to not stimulate the mind.
  • I keep a notebook close to my bed so I can take any notes from my day, what I did well, could do better or moments or things I was grateful for.
  • I always read in bed until I literally can’t keep my eyelids open. Sometimes they are deep reads, other times, light and funny ones. For you, it could be cookbooks, detective, prayer books, personal development, psychological, comics, horrors, the list goes, give that time to yourself to enjoy your favourites. If you’re not a reader or would prefer something lighter, magazines of your interests should be purchased such as fashion, cars, games, finance etc.
  • Deep breathing is a great way to induce sleep, so it is a great activity to practice before you drop off to zzzz…

 

 Morning Routine 

 

  • I take it old school! I bought a manual alarm clock and leave my phone in another room. This was difficult at first, but once it’s the norm, you don’t tend to think twice about it. If it’s not work or emergency-related no-one should be getting that time before you first give it to yourself.
  • I  give thanks and show gratitude even if I’m in a difficult moment in life- many were not given another day.
  • I drink a bottle of hot water that I prepped from the night before, yes, hot water is my thing! But a regular cup of water does the same job of re-hydrating you.
  • I Light candles or use a diffuser to set the day with citrus smells such as lemon, sweet orange and grapefruit. They are great for alertness, freshness and energy!
  • I listen or list affirmations that are empowering, encouraging and personalized to my situation. Expect good things to happen to that day, expect to be your highest self, expected yourself to touch and change someone’s life by just being yourself!
  • I always try to do some form of exercise in the morning, but with my job, that can be quite difficult so I may instead walk for 30mins during the day. Weekends give me an abundance of time. There’s not always time for exercise but if you can fit it in, it sets your day perfectly, just getting your heart rate up for 20 mins. If you have practised Yoga, Pilates or simply deep breathing, first thing in the morning is a great place to start.  If you haven’t, YouTube is a great place to get free content for beginnings and all music platforms offer the perfect music for it.
  • Following from that, making 2 playlists; one for setting your day up positively and one for motivational speeches or interviews. Personally, I tend to listen to the positive music in the shower or while cooking, and the motivational videos or audios when I’m doing a mundane activity or on Monday mornings to start my week powerfully. Such examples of my playlists are below.

 

Positive Songs for the Morning Motivational Videos (Youtube Content)
Mary J Binge – Beautiful Day/ Just Fine COURAGE – Powerful Motivational Speech
Lauryn Hill – I find it hard to say (Rebel) Get comfortable with being uncomfortable | Luvvie Ajayi
Israel Houghton – Take the limits off/ No limits Will Smith – The Alchemist Illuminist In His Own Words
Fred Hammond – Success is in your hands Paulo Coelho – What Is a Personal Legend—and Are You Living It?
L-Octane – Thank you father Gary Vee – Call Out Tuesday
Bashy – Black Boys Hal Elrod – “The Miracle Morning”
Jhene Aiko –Frequency| W.A.Y.S. Les Brown’s 15 Minute Morning Motivational Speech
Positive – Blessing after Blessing TGIM | Environment 1 & 2 | Personal Freedom | You’ve come too far
Kirk Franklin – Hello Fear Coach Jae – Comfort Has Failed You!!
Alicia Keys – Superwoman INKY JOHNSON’S INKSPIRATIONS
Teddyson Jogn – Mile high| Leave (Kita sa)| Allez Robert Kiyosaki – Why You Re Educate Your Financial IQ?| Your Guide to Wealth|60 Minutes To Getting Rich
J.LO ft Diddy – Feel so good Stephen Curry Draft Report

 

Our morning and evening rituals really point us in great directions in starting and ending our days. Once solidly in place, you really look forward to them as they become your thing…your time for yourself, before you give it back to the world. This is so important because you are so deserving of having the best start and end to your day.

 

My future starts when I wake up every morning. – Miles Davis

Innerness  

A Spoken Word piece I wrote and performed at Poetry Unplugged:

Innerness

 

Hey, could you do something for me? 

Invest in me,  

Plant seeds of power, compassion and love!  

I believe all that you tell me continuously, 

So, tell me I can win, 

Tell me that, what I have deep within me 

Can be produced, 

That fear won’t have a foothold in my life. 

 

Encourage me daily, 

Allow empowering thoughts to infect me 

To bubble in my tummy 

Preparing me for my greatness.

 

Be easy on me  

I’m sensitive  

It is not necessary to cut me with your words, judgements and observations 

I’m doing my best in a world that expects perfection 

With us knowing that the following is unattainable.  

 

Let me fail  

How else can I be better the next time I attempt? 

Encourage me to attempt again 

The comfort-zone I remain in isn’t good for my growth 

 Kindly remind me of the following!  

 

I plead that you don’t compare me to others 

Make me aware that our journeys are separate   

And mine is the only one that matters.   

 

Feed me well so I can be in the best shape for you 

Sit with me in silence 

Breathe deeply with me 

Allow me to hear the gentle sounds I never cared to notice  

 

You know I must learn to remain in the present, 

 Tap me when I fall into unconsciousness  

I’m relying on you to make these decisions for me 

What you tell me, I accept 

And I no longer wish to accept the lies 

Let’s come together to recognise my unlimited power and importance.

 

Yours lovingly, 

Mind Body and Soul 

Don’t just Promote it… Schedule and Experience it! #Self-Care

We’re busy, we’re stretched and we don’t pretend not to notice. We acknowledge it often and wait in anticipation for either our A/L or the weekend, and even then, we can be busy running errands and getting done what we couldn’t due to work taking up a lot of time. For stay at home mothers or entrepreneurs, you may be aware that you need a break but maybe you struggle to schedule that time in. 

 

I for one can relate. Upon taking time off, I would pack my days with all the people I need to see, with plans from morning to night with things I must get done and only schedule a minimum amount of time of relaxing at home, but that never came without a side of guilt. This is coming from someone who talks about self-love and care quite often. However, it has never really been something I’ve seriously practiced. It took for me to have two days off work and consciously use it to be kind to myself. That involved me letting go of any impulsiveness to control my day in structures and putting anything I saw as “work or studies” to the side and instead do things that bring me joy, fulfilment and let my inquisitive brain enjoy and live in the moment. 

 

The natural habit of waking up and being out of bed for my morning routine on weekdays or gym on the weekend was probably the most difficult to stop on my days off. The first day of my days off, I went to a gym class I could never make because of work but the second day was just an impulsive feeling to get up and go. However, I didn’t need to go, and I gently reminded myself of that until I could remain in my bed and not carry that sense of guilt. Instead, I put on Jazz Music and I relaxed in bed, having relaxing thoughts and deep breaths. It felt blissful. Over those two days, I took mindful walks, went to book stores and took out books, had and made very delicious meals, read and practiced yoga. One of my favourite hobbies is to dance, which I was able to do at home and take lessons in a Latin bar and be around the music I love. Over the weekend, I still managed to have more activities that make me feel happiness such as a fitness class, yoga, meditation, massage and a concert from a mind-blowing concert, which all of these activities made me realise how important it is to take the time to practice and indulge in often, especially my experience with yoga. 

 

I have so many other things I love to do such as go to live guitar/piano concerts, hiking and nature walks, Kickboxing/Muay Thai, and so many more, but I always consider myself too busy to fit them in often and when I try to, I hold a sense of guilt by not giving that time to friends or family or because I could be doing something more constructive with my time. I’m so glad I’ve concluded that giving myself time to enjoy the beautiful things I love of life IS constructive and a necessity. That goes for all of us. Some of us push and push ourselves and may think that yummy meals, shopping and Netflix/social media are good enough to tap out of the pressures of our lives, but my thoughts are that we need to really find that thing that truly brings us immense joy, bliss, and taps into our creativity and make sure that we are taking time out to do it. It doesn’t need to cost the world, and even if it does turn out to hold a cost, we can make an effort to put it aside because our mind and body really do need a break from the stress and pressures of our world. We should be able to fulfil that without any guilt.  

It has taken me sooooo long to get to this place though I have spoken on it and been encouraged to so myself, but I’ve only stepped into this place now and seen how beautiful it is and how much of a necessity it is for my life. So, as I finalize my next plan of learning and dancing to Merengue tonight, what are you choosing to schedule in often that will make your life that extra bit enjoyable? Because you deserve that! 

“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” 
― Parker Palmer, 

Veganary and Trickery

 

 

I’ve been paying very close attention to companies understanding that some people would like to reduce the amount of meat they eat. One of the most recent ones is the exploitation of “Veganary“. Veganuary is a UK non-profit organization that encourages people to go vegan for the month of January as a way to promote and educate about a vegan lifestyle. People around me were consciously attempting to consume less meat and more vegan or vegetarian meals which is great for our digestive system. Restaurants, fast food shops and supermarkets have had a field day with it, because here came their opportunity make as much money from it as they could. However, I personally feel that they were not focused on promoting healthy eating but creating “vegan meals/snacks” filled with the worse types of ingredients for our body to consume. 

 

I must stress, if your goal was to reduce meat intake just because you are conscious about the animals or you were simply interested in the different tastes, then this won’t apply to you. But if your reasoning was to better your health and consume more nutrients, some of these products bring more harm to the body which defeats the purpose. 

 Take “fake meat” products made from tofu, the production of this product makes it processed, then to add flavour, companies add a whole range of harmful ingredients to make it taste good, with the main guest feature being…da da da daaaaa SALT. The same high amount of salt that is in a meat sausage or burger. At supermarkets, I read the ingredients for these products and wherever it’s veggie sausages, burgers, bacon, meatballs or steak, they have a whole leap of ingredients to mimic the real meat and salt is the largest ingredient in them in order to catch you in from the flavour. If your vegan or veggie protein products have more thank 10 ingredients to mimic the real meat (especially flavourings and colours) and a whole heap of salt, it is not doing you any favours health wise; you might as well go to the meat session and pick up the real thing that still contain those harmful products. I’m sure the brands creating these products have the best intentions in mind and I won’t be a hypocrite and say I don’t ever eat them, but for me, it will be a treat, consuming them knowing my body can’t obtain any nutrients from it. However, there’s an understanding that these products should not be consumed as an alternative for meat as a healthier eating lifestyle. 

 

(Per serving contains 2.1 grams of salt, our daily recommendation limit is 6 grams)thumbnail_20200201_142334

 

I feel that same about fast food restaurants or bakeries who have produced vegan alternatives last month. As tasty as the vegan burgers or diary-free pastries may taste, they are all riddled with chemicals, sugar, salt, bleached white flour etc, all ingredients that are missing nutrients and what our body struggles to digest. The worse thing about these products is that some of them don’t give you the ingredients, just the allergy information and those that do, well… I do understand that these companies are just trying to make their money and that our health is not their responsibility so I’ve had to look at this objectively and find healthier solutions. 

 

The best types of meals for the protein side are the meals using chickpeas, lentils (all colours of the rainbow), red kidney beans, literally any type of beans and nuts are great too. You can make so many curries or stir fries with them and you will be also getting a great amount of nutrients along with it too! To go along with it are carbs such as wild, brown or brown jasmine rice, brown pasta, couscous, sweet potato and quinoa! I have purposely not mentioned any white-grain carbs as so much research has been done into them to show that the nutrients are stripped and it assist in weight gain. 

I still eat tofu when I’m training for an extra burst of protein but I stay from any brands that contain protein isolate, oil, yeast extract, maltodextrin, natural flavours, acids etc. The brands I use are Toofuu and Oasis 95% of the time, I love Oasis as the only ingredients in is it are soyabeans, water and nigari. Lately, I’ve been loving their smoked version, which again, has no added ingredients and the smoked affect is naturally done.

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I either chop them up and add them freely to my meals, or I cover it with foil, add ingredients such as garlic, onion, paprika or peanut/almond butter. Depending of what type of meal, or as a treat, I add it to a stir-fry. Whichever way I chose to use it, I’ve chosen the ingredients, which are as fresh as they can be. Even the dairy-free sauces sneak a lot of chemicals in it so it’s best to make your own! 

From my part, it’s not about being a clean-eating obsessive but more about being mindful of the agenda of the food industry. I personally don’t feel that some of them have our heath in mind during the creations of particular products, and just because a product states to be dairy-free or vegan, it doesn’t mean that its healthy. Think of all they had to do to get it to taste good and similar to the product it’s mimicking. The same chemical ingredients added to vegan processed products are the same in processed meat and dairy products. The best way I usually deal with it is to balance it 80/20, staying away from the deeply naughty ones.

You definitely have to always take your own health into your hands as some of these companies are never going to do that for you. Stay Woke! 

 

False-Eyelashes

Only aged 14 but I couldn’t leave my house without my false-eyelashes. They had to be continuously fitted. I wouldn’t feel comfortable without them – I wouldn’t feel like I was myself. I believed if I didn’t have them fitted, people wouldn’t pay attention to an unattractive girl like me. Ironically, my own eyelashes were one of my favourite features. However, the days I wore mascara, were the days I wanted to look plain, boring and not have anyone look at me. I would cry when I took out the lashes and my own eyelashes would rip out with them, but it wouldn’t stop me from getting them put back in the following day.  

 

From a young age, I suffered with low confidence. During secondary school, I was bullied by a few people regarding my looks. Even though I did receive attention, I flat-out ignored it due to the insults that were spoken about my looks in childish but heated arguments. One argument that had stayed with me was from a former friend I respected and loved.   

 

She had said “You are so ugly, “big nose, big lips, such a gorilla”.  

 

 I would pretend I didn’t care about those insults, but my confidence was crushed to a lower level. I would wear my hood up constantly, be it any season. I would walk with my head down upon leaving my house. Many strangers used to stop me on the street and ask me what I am looking at; “You mustn’t walk with your head down, keep your head high!” I would always smile and pick myself up, but a day or even a couple hours later, I would be back to that destructive habit 

 

Upon leaving secondary school, I felt slightly better about myself. This would only be due to if I liked my hair or outfit looked nice; at the time, that is what defined me. My days were spent generally admiring other people then being disappointed in how I looked in comparison to them. I spent most of my time moping about the situation and the other half trying to work out what I could make myself look better or just wanted. I would stand in the mirror wondering;  

 

 “Why is my torso so short?  

“Why do I have that bloody line down my stomach?”

Why am I flat-chested?  

Why is my skin tone not even?  

Why can’t I look better…?  

 

nadz

If I particularly dressed up and made an extra effort, and I felt that no-one looked at me while I was out, that was confirmation that I failed in looking good. I’ll cake myself in make-up, and the more I would put on, the more I would actually, feel unattractive. I preferred myself with less make-up, but the world didn’t, At least that’s what I believed. I wasn’t comfortable with myself if the society wasn’t. At that point, the world determined how I felt about myself.   

 

 

Some days, I couldn’t even leave my house; these were the days I suffered the most. It took all the effort in the world for me to leave my house believing I looked terrible. I always felt like the odd one out, the ugly dumpling. Any negative comments towards me from others were strapped to my already heavy load. Any positive comments slid off me quicker than the sentence finished. I didn’t believe them; they were liars. My friends were trying to make me feel better simply because they are my friends and that’s their job. Men were saying it to sweet-talk me to see what they could get.  This is how my mind was set up through years of unhealthy conditioning. I simply didn’t know any better at the time – or I chose to ignore it. 

 

It had got to the point where it got too intense. I got to the point where I couldn’t keep fighting this battle of nonsense; I was sick of it. I couldn’t keep using products as a way to make myself acceptable; I couldn’t keep comparing myself to every female – it was too overwhelming! Through prayer, I got through it. Subsequently, my understanding of the sickening cycle I was in came through. 

 

I thought that products and clothing were what I needed to find and keep my beauty, but there was nothing I can purchase, nothing I can add to myself, which would make me beautiful – I already obtain something I was previously desperate to gain. was so relived to finally understand that it was okay that I didn’t look like anyone else or have their features; that it was okay if the world didn’t see anything in me. That my beauty wasn’t any lesser than anyone else’s and that I was enough. Was that road easy to stay on? Absolutely not. But in time and with God’s grace – I did get there. 

 

Growing into me was the most beautiful experience I’ve ever encountered. Looking at myself, accepting and loving everything I once grieved about; accepting my so-called flaws. If I did not feel like wearing make-up, there would be no trace of it, and I wouldn’t feel any less about myself. If I wanted to enhance my beauty, then I would, however, both ways would give me the same leverage of beauty. Anything I temporary added to face to enhance, was not mandatory like I once believed it was. 

 

My body shape did not need not need to curve in a particular way, regardless of the person to my left and right. My height, my skin, my smile – absolution perfection as I know God does not make mistakes. 

 

What mattered most to me is the light within me shined as brightly I now knew that’s where my true beauty births from. It had and will always start within; this was my favourite lesson of them all. 

 

You’re Royal – Setting up 2020!

2020 is around the corner, how insane is that? Those of us that want to renew will think about making new goals, removing bad habits, living more of a fuller life etc. and good on you for wanting to renew! One thing I ask of you, is to be kind to yourself during this process!

Always keep this in mind – are the new rules I’m instructing myself  have love and kindness in the background of it?

How to work that one out?

Have you chosen to start many goals or habits to make or break all at once? – Some people can handle a lot at once, others can’t – it all depends on your lifestyle and responsibilities so maybe starting with the one will allow yourself not to get too overwhelmed.

Do you want to work on your health or fitness? Joining the gym is already a massive step but telling yourself you’ll go 3 times a week when you haven’t been before or fell off previously is a tricky one. You can make it easier by telling yourself that all you will do is put your trainers on..with intention but just that simple step. Then maybe you could tell yourself that you will only go to use the treadmill for a 10 min walk and leave. You will build up so much momentum, when you are there, you would want to do more! But, it’s what you tell yourself at first.

Though I have been attending the gym for years, some days, in order to go I have to I have to limit what I plan to do and just keep my gym clothes in my bag, and when i’m there, I’m so ready for more! You don’t even have to join a gym, you can grab yourself a few decently price homekit products from eBay or Argos. You would need to practice the same small steps that you would practice going to the gym – if needed of course.

Want to cut down on sweets, cakes, meat or whatever else is your weak spot? Yes, some people can go cold turkey  – but if that is not you, don’t force it! Small steps are the best way. If you tend to have a particular food or drink quite often in the day, plan one day of not having it. If it’s every other day then maybe planning 2 days in the week not to have it. if you have your chosen item out of your planned day where you were successful, you’ve not broken any rules, what’s important is that you work on following your plan. If meat is your mountain, plan one meal out of your day for something vegetarian , visit a vegetarian restaurant  (I recommend Eat of Eden or Comptoir V) or youtube is your best friend for tasty meal ideas, these will surely make it easier.

Do you have a goal you want to bring to life? Put yourself around people already doing it, it will make you extremely uncomfortable in the beginning but then you knowing you have a gift,  seeing them do it will give you the momentum to know you can do it to. Schedule time for yourself, time that no-one can interrupt, put a 30 min timer on and pour out! And remember when you give yourself that time, make time to do something you’re enjoy straight after.

That’s the point I want to empathise on – doing something nice for yourself. Small steps are immensely important and they must be acknowledged with full admiration. You must treat yourself after each step, no matter how small it is – it is a breakthrough! Buy a little booklet that notes all your favourite things you like eating, doing, watching etc. and they don’t have to extravagant or expensive so you can never have an excuse not to provide it to yourself.

Even when you struggle in your new set goals, continue to be kind to yourself, beating yourself up serves no purpose and it doesn’t’ get you do it anymore than you’re already trying. It’s tough starting or giving up a habit, expect it to be difficult at the start and treat yourself nicely, encouraging yourself and knowing regardless you are already complete as you are.

The ways I suggest are just my opinions, you will feel what is right or not for yourself and how to go about it. Ignore those who chose to shame or insult those who want to make new year plans and goals to start again, I do agree that we can refresh our lifes at any point but in reality, its not when that is important but the fact that you want to make this change and I believe we all have it in us to do so! Just make sure you’re not bullying yourself through it, you gotta treat yourself like the royalty you are…!

“You don’t try to build a wall. You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built.’ You don’t start there. You say ‘I’m gonna lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid,’ and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall.” – WILL SMITH

Treats for the Body

As the food I buy tends to be prepared from scratch 80% the time, I believe my body got used to what it receives. When I step out of that by consuming pastries or processed or fried food, my body has a full on hissy-fit. I felt bloated, nauseated, heavy and it also messes with my mood. Prior, I would feel it but it wouldn’t feel so much like a problem, it would just feel well, familiar! Now, these are feelings I am no longer used to.

However, It doesn’t stop it from being difficult if i want a “treat”, but that’s when I really have to sit with that concept of what exactly is a treat. A bag of my favourite biscuits, sweets or fried food, plant based or not, isn’t something my body looks forward to here or there. What they areis treat to my taste-buds and not to my body. The amount of chemicals, flavourings, E-numbers, and oil are things that fuels comfort and delight but my body then bares the difficult task of absorbing and sorting through all things it can actually use and get rid of that which causes havoc and difficulty for the body to deal with.

When i started to become more conscious to my body, when I would crave “treats”, I could almost hear my body ask me “What can I do with this?”. It definitely helped me to stop and take a moment to be more mindful. It lead me to consume foods that I know my body would delight in and get a great burst of energy, minerals, vitamins and all that goodness. It gave me greater pleasures of health.

That’s what truly helps me stay on track as I quite often fall off, leading me to pay the price of it. my body always knows when something is wrong, I will feel it deeply until it works hard to get rid of it or store it as fat annoyingly haha. So, It’s led me to fill my cupboard and fridge with real types of treats such as exotic dried and fresh fruit, teas, smoothies, nuts, juices, and Many more good good stuff!

The benefits are consistently incredible and I love the feelings I get from it which keeps me determined to stay on my journey 🙂